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Shobana Jeyasingh: [h]Interland    
Sowmya's diary

 

   
16/09/2002

1st day of rehearsal. Felt odd to see just Mavin without the rest of the gang. I guess I was too used to dancing in a company. We didn’t get our rehearsal schedule. Shobana started by showing us the space in Greenwich. There were 3 projections.2 of Bangalore and one of chitra. Mavin was going to be on the balcony with a built stage and I think my role would be to dance between the exits and entrances. There was going to be kolam, which may get disturbed as we dance (I like this, when she uses something out of tradition but makes a realistic outcome out of it). She indicated that the space would be treated more like that of a play with acts and different characters rather than what we have been used to all along. I came in with some idea of what to expect because I had attended the sessions about web casting.

We did our own warm up. We started off by looking at 3 aspects of motorcycle driving. (I had already worked with her where I had mimed the whole process of sitting on a bike and driving it..and of course she stylized it)

*Grip of a bike with 2 turns and a curve

*Shunt like when you put it on a stand

*Kick start (the idea of repetition leading to movt becoming complete)

We were sent off with a task of using the periya adavu and then a simple BN step and incorporate the 3 things in it. Mavin was doing a better job of it because he presented his ideas in a smooth flowing sequence and used much more of legwork and shifts.... I struggled to get my brain thinking on the first day of rehearsal first thing in the morning.. My movt had more body curving and shapes and less covering space and flow. Shobana seemed much more interested in making the feet do more. She was specially interested in 8 short quick feet put together (it’s one idea she likes when there are lots of fussy details put together and done quickly)). And she specially liked a movement of the leg raised and beating down fast. I noticed this time that she wasn’t particularly interested in floor work either. When she choreographs she takes the energy/aspect of a movt and contrasts it with 2/3 mudras, placing it elsewhere, changing directions, juxtaposing previous ideas in that movt. When we did it to the pulsating music I realized it was quite typical of her movt.style where the breaths and intervals mattered and punchiness and softness kept the movt throbbing. It was about ‘phrasing’. She sometimes does borrow ideas from previous productions.

We had a long phrase ready on the first day, which was what we put together from the movements that we suggested, what came to be known as the grip sequence. That’s quite incredible.

17/09/02

Shobana had an idea of walking low which was quite nice. The idea was to cover space in a slow moving way. These phrases lead to movts. that was already used in the other phrase with of course a splash of some typical BN quick step here and there. It developed quite quickly. Now shobana was interested in using the same stimulus of the 3 bike movts but in the context of abhinaya. It was quite hard. mavin was to play a character from ballet. But for me I was to choose something that was not female dressing up ..So I guess an unusual character..preferably man and in surroundings that were outside. Mavin again moved more. But she chose a ripple movt. Actually I’m starting to feel that shobana does tend to pick up movements that you sometimes give least priority to. We present this whole sequence to her and sometimes it’s a nod or a shake that appeals to her. She worked with me alone, with again the same idea and used the idea of kolam. She tends to use some movts. Often placing them at many places almost testing where it looks the best, like the double beat of the leg. I wished at moments that I had more skills. Shobana’s work has moved from wanting to be flexible to wanting to do unusual steps well.

18/09/02

For the first time felt lazy and tired. Did my own warm up. Basically just stretching. Shobana came with some ideas today. She had a sound image of ‘VA va voom’, the sound of a bike starting. There were some gestures that she wanted to use. She kind of asked us to do everything so there was not much input from our side. She again toyed with the idea of leg beating and tried different ways of getting us to do that well. She now had 3 long phrases and a short one. In the afternoon She again asked us to do an abhinaya phrase but with the idea of VA VA voom, sudden brakes, losing control/skidding stimulating the changes. I feel like I am running out of ideas and suddenly feel that I can’t contribute to the choreography. I guess it is only the first week. There was someone recording our rehearsal, and in general we were not being very productive. Shobana didn’t quite feel comfortable and we ended up just correcting old phrases and videoing it

19/09/02

Shobana continued with the va va voom series. All the movements were set to the pace of the sound of va va voom (said quickly with an emphasis on the voom movement). So the phrase had repetitions as signified by the va va and sudden bursts of energy on the voom. Counting is integral to movement in shobana’s choreography, because every phrase has contrasting energies. A movement in her choreography looks radically different even if performed with a different energy. I wish it were simple enough to either do a movement fast or slow. But the impulses and impacts in the phrase made a huge difference. Which is why sometimes we work on some movements so much only to discard it, simply because we cannot find the right energy to make it work. This time she extended it. Again there was no input from us. But she had a lot of hip-py movts. I almost felt like she was trying vocabulary that I was home at. There were not much leg elevations in the extension. It was mudra and b.n inspired and was more weighted and curvy. She added the back ripple step of mine. Also she kept correcting me on the beginning of va va voom. She kept asking me to pull my hand more. I tried everything possible but we were not quite there. It is quite frustrating especially because I thought we were working on vocabulary that I thought I was good at. I was now desperate to have my lunch break.

In the afternoon we went through all phrases we had done. Then she gave us a task to do together. Find a head, arms, upper torso, leg and feet movt. From ballet, kalari, odissi and bharatanatyam. Then she named each 12345 and made a grid of four lines and we were to do it in that order..jumbled up. Not much came up there were stray movt’s put together that finally looked good when done slowly and when overlapped. She again recorded a lot of stuff and even showed us. I think to see it now is good rather than two days before performance. Also I suddenly wondered if her sense of what looks good changes with pieces that she makes. I felt she was discarding movements as much as she was creating them.

30/09/02

Haven’t written for days..but gist is that we went to Denmark. Traveled on 20/09/02 morning..It was a 1 1/2 hour flight with a further two-hour journey to Odense. That evening we saw two stand up comedies and performance poetry. Wasn’t great. The workshop was okay. The students were not professional dancers but at least were disciplined. I taught them chhau and kabaddi.

Returned on 23/09/02 with a headache after almost a 10-day week.

We were back in the studio on 24th and the 25th. Again it was a task given to us. to take the bn movements but this time all circular movements and see how we could internalise it or use the pathway but make it with another path of the body so that the movement looks nothing like the original. A Japanese guy called Kats joined us. Again I felt mavin’s movements were balletic but he did them well. Shobana was also working on her own circle movements with the nipples and with the knee crossed behind and leg circling. We had to learn each other’s phrases. And then the circular sequence was formed with all our ideas put together.

Also shobana now started taking movements from other phrases and inserting them in her new ones. So there were quite a few overlaps.

She then created the loop sequence. It borrowed a lot of ideas from previous phrases and just put them together. But she also tried to put soft mudras or glances at odd points and sometimes she would have us do these unusual broken up fast movements like the one in the loop where we do 12345 with the handwriting thing.

We also worked on some partner work. She tried to get me to just climb on mavin. i couldn’t quite do it. Maybe, because I thought of myself as heavy. Also she had a picture of somebody holding a child. So mavin jumped on me and she tried to get him to hang. Also she wanted me to carry him on my back like a cross and for him to get off. It was becoming increasingly easy for me to lift others. But I quickly realized that I needed to work on being lifted as well.

We were off on 26th and 27th. Shobana asked us how we felt and whether we would like to come into the space. But I told her that I was quite tired and needed this period off. And on 28th Saturday we had the sharing at Greenwich. We showed the loop and the walk. We also tried to do the circular movement phrase on the bar top. It was really interesting. For the first time I realized what it was all leading to. I think I could come back to the studio with a different perception.

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30/09/02

I was down with flu for the whole weekend. I came Monday morning hoping to just watch but instead shobana was bursting with ideas and wanted me to just stand in for the morning. We experimented with some partner work. She used the kalari warm up of running around the place leading another person by the hand. But she made us do it really slowly to see where it was leading. The she tried to get one person to do the arm movements of the circling phrase and the other person to follow. There were some interesting moments. She played around with where the person would look etc.

We revisited my solo (kolam one) and I went home to rest. She then worked with mavin looking at all the possibilities of odissi

1/10/02

Was still not feeling too great but decided to come in and get moving. We again went through the whole leading duet. This time she tried to get mavin to do the circling phrase but properly this time and when I followed she asked me to constantly use the arms of kita taka tharikita thom  up/forward and sarikkal. I did it there were some nice moments and she wanted me to do them with some force and abrupt and not too soft. It didn’t work as well. She again got mavin to do the B.N sequence but with adavu legs as well. She was now developing a sequence, adding jumps face touches and falls. It’s this part which really interests me. I do the sequence but it’s the things she asks us to add here and there which makes it even more brilliant. A phrase is like a starting point, you need to master the movements but immediately be willing to change the sequence or discard movements. In the afternoon she worked with mavin, while I went home to rest.

2/10/02

Developed leading sequence more… we still had the idea of the circling movement. But we were changing it a bit to make it look interesting..repeating certain things, finding moments were I could push off to go somewhere and how I could find mavin’s hand with my face..bumping against him to go elsewhere.

Mavin left to do his work.

In the afternoon we chatted into our rehearsal time a bit. She is normally quite disciplined about times and I got the feeling we were all now relaxing into it. Worked with me on my solo. I did what we had set. Then she asked me to add a bit from the circling phrase. I felt like she was seeing what I did best and added that to my solo. Went back to the old bike sequence. I had to jog my memory a bit. The movements were great but I had to learn to phrase them and know how much time to give each movement. This is where the ‘delivery’ of the choreography plays a major role.

I started having a slight backache maybe because of the lifts we had done.

3/10/02

I went to the gym this morning. I wasn’t too sure how effective it was. I probably need to spend a good 1-hour to see the effects. Shobana still worked on the leading duet sequence. This time after having seen the video she wanted to use the one where I am doing the circle sequence but with exaggerated hands and body. and mavin follows with nritta movements. She gave us a task to see how mavin can follow without adjusting too much. We decided to set it. And it worked because now mavin had definite movements. Shobana returned and set all his movements to mine. But our point of contact was the wrist. We decided to tie our wrists together so I never lose contact. My wrists really hurt when we tried to tie us up. Then she added it to the sequence we had yesterday. So she had a modified leading sequence to which this set leading sequence was added.

In the afternoon we worked on the loop sequence. The loop is really exhausting. I like the movements but I sometimes feel like mavin is rushing. In any case shobana wants it really fast most times. Now shobana wanted to see how it would be like to combine it with chitra’s video. So she set it as 3 sections.

1 was a plain loop then one with 2 repeats of the kolam, then one with 3 repeats of the kolam, the third one on which we do an extract from the va va voom series

Now we had to start when chitra started and every time chitra lunged..We had to break away from the sequence and do the lifting of mavin and get back..Of course she would say ‘now’. at first she said it only at times..Then she decided to say it every time. She didn’t like the fact that there was no breath because it came too often so she tried to use one as a stop and next as a start. Then the one we finally had was one where we just froze and started on the next.

We tried this freeze and start in the kolam sequence and the breakaway and lift in the va va voom series. She had it all recorded so I don’t know what she will choose.

Finally she ended by seeing mavin’s solo and my solo

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04/10/02

Today shobana looked a lot at the loop sequence. She was particular about interrupting it either with the lunge sequence or just freezes and starts. So she basically had us do it thrice. Once with interruptions in the section 1 and then freezes in the va va voom, that is section 3. She also had me and mavin to loop some of the sequences within. So we did section 1 with the interruptions. Then we did section 2 with mavin looping alone then we did a whole sequence together and then we did it again this time I beginning to loop and then catching up on the va va voom series. Mavin had to loop the dusting sequence and I had to loop the sitting and dotting sequence. I think the material looks very different. But we both by then had started dreading the ‘loop’ sequence. It was so exhausting.

She wanted to add the circle duet to the one we already had.

In the afternoon we had a jing bang of Chris, Lucy and Chris bannerman come and watch us. I was very tired. But I had a sudden burst of energy in the last take, which was on video. We showed the loop, the walk, and the duet and our solos. Grip sequence was surprisingly out.

Chris spoke to me saying that the lunge must be difficult and that I must hold my stomach and also do exercises because it can be very strenuous on the back. I have not been lifting Mavin these days because my back hurts, but if I don’t get used to it, we may have to remove it coz anything that does not work a week before the shows is just not worth keeping.

07/10/02

New material on Monday morning, and looked like she had come with ideas.

She made us do the walk sequence and this time added more stuff. She added some B.N stuff and mavin’s limp from his solo. She was concentrating a lot on the transfer of weight. She created that extension in one go.

Then we got another task. She basically had three lines with the hands. Something, which vaguely looked like a sarikkal, a diagonal hand and a straight line and asked what we could do with it in terms of body and leg. We could change it with the idea in mind. She gave us further hands and at the end made up a sequence with the shared material. (That eventually formed the basis of the pillion ride sequence). She also added a hippy baby movement to it. At one point we were at the floor and she suddenly asked us to try different bharatanatyam adavus on the floor because she thought since the audience were up they would see something.

We looked at the loop sequence. All the while she was trying to time it and see where it looked best.

We worked on the duet. She got us to repeat many things and saw how we would keep doing the duets with different starting and ending points.

08/10/02

Using the hand phrase earlier we saw how it would be if I do the sequence in that order and mavin just pillion rides me and vice versa. So all we did was put our hands around the waist of the other and see where it was taking us. So it was developing into another duet.

Worked on loop for a bit. Not many changes

Worked on my solo at the end. She made me do the whole thing and wanted me to do the first half faster. Then she asked me to do a little abhinaya of waiting. We looked at all movements that could suggest and she wanted me to reverse them. We settled on one reverse. She also asked me to remember what I did for the task..She remembered it as being very elbowy. So we added the elbow and the fall. And then went on to the motorbike sequence and with va va voom ending in the skiddy moment.

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09/10/02

Started off by looking at the duet we were working on the previous day where I was meant to pillion ride mavin and basically decided how we would do it. She extended it by sending mavin off to the floor with a quote from the other duet. We looked at the slam slam movt. that I did. I realized the slam was working when I did it. She then got mavin to lift my leg and move me forward into the space. I did another quote from the walk sequence, which she had created and went chasing him. Then she got us to go on the floor and do the bharatanatyam movt’s on the floor. Again using quotes from other phrases for the transition.

She seemed quite happy with it.

We then worked on the loop. She basically worked on the lifts of mavin setting the pauses and the counts. Then she wanted to see how I dot mavin on the fact she wanted it to be more aggressive. And she also now at the end of it wanted it to exit by making mavin do his loop and me doing the va va voom series …again finding some moments where mavin could hold me.

We did the walk sequence with the new addition. she was still unsatisfied with the face up and walking she tried different rhythms and settled for a slow one.

She made me do my solo bit. But in the abhinaya extract she wanted me to still do the waiting gesture and add the snaky head movt.

I can’t believe how much material we have now. And I know for sure now that there is going to be a lot of dancing. We have been making very good progress. Left me off early.

10/10/02

Walked in at 12.00. She still worked on mavin trying some odissi stuff. I noticed she was using all the lyrical gestures for him with lots of pauses, whereas in my solo she was using more of the fast manic movements. She was using our strengths.

Then we worked a bit on the loop. She looked at certain movements. The falling, the towel dusting movement and posting the letter and changed them slightly. We worked on them a lot. They were small movements almost like quotes but shobana wanted them to have them done in a way. She was also playing a lot with my dot-dot movements. Again it was one of those phases where we were desperately trying to work out the best way to deliver them and it didn’t quite work out. Loop was exhausting and we had worked on it a lot by now. We were now so tired we even forgot how it was meant to be done originally.

Anyway we had a lunch break.

In the afternoon we started by looking at the walk. For the first time she spoke about how she wanted to use it in context she wanted the walk to be done from the lift and then in the balcony. So we chose certain movements of the phrase and changed the counts and did it like we would do it on the balcony. We also tried doing our duet in the balcony space. Then we looked at the pillion duet sequence. From the lift she tried to move it to something else. So we did the motorbike lift

She then tried to get me to initiate the slam-slam movt on mavin and leading to the part where I walk on mavin like they are steps. Again we were trying different ways of doing it and all this time I had never given my weight so to say. As we did it I got more comfortable. I got it finally and then had to lift him up.

Today there was a resistance while doing these movements. All of us were a bit irritable and tired that some things were not working.

Mavin looked so tired that he was left early and she asked me to do the solo. She liked what she saw and worked on another extension with the abhinaya of household chores and getting me to reverse them.

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11/10/02

She worked with mavin in the morning. She didn’t have a proper sequence just movts here and there. When I walked in she started with the walk sequence. We just repeated what she had set the previous day. Which is mavin and I would do the full walk one after another. Then mavin would do the flat sequence from the walk and I would just join him on the side walks. Now she wanted to add the bike sharp turn to the simple side walks.

Then we did the loops twice. Now the loop had been reduced to two sections. We did it once full then once half and went into the lifts. Then came out..Mavin looped and I looped. She had changed mavin’s loop to something slow because she wanted something formal and then of course we exited.

Then she looked at the duet and added the extension to it. Again revisiting stuff from the duet itself.

After lunch, just when the weekend was hitting us she said she wanted to see the whole thing done in sequence. She wanted to have an image of it for the weekend so she could think about it. Of course it would have a lot of pauses and there was also the music with the screaming voices, which we heard for the first time. We did it. First the walks. Then my solo, then the loops once and then loops again. The long duet and mavin’s solo. I was dead tired and was literally marking the duet. Shobana later commented that it was 35minutes but because we were just two dancers it was quite a bit on us.

Mavin left. She didn’t keep me very long. She asked me to do my solo and wanted to see if it is energetic. She then corrected me on points. She rephrased it leading from one movt. to the other. I did it again and that was it for the day. Just wanted to add something. The grip sequence has been completely discarded along the line somewhere. So also the beginning of the va va voom

14/10/02 and 15/10/02

Went into the Greenwich space for the first time.

The space was really cold and they had to bring in this ugly heater. We did a quick warm up. The first day Chris and Lucy were there. We were just figuring out different ways of getting up to the balcony and finally found a short route and of course calculating how long it would take to go up.

Then of course it was figuring out which material looked best on the balcony. we tried loops and walks and duets and realized that it was a part of the duet done flat that worked. She was working a lot on developing the duet sequence more but this time with mavin pillion riding me.

She also worked on the bar area. She started off by seeing how the walk sequence would look by doing it in that area. And developed it then she added movements from other sequences that she thought may fit ..adding hands and feet if necessary. By the second day she kind of got a sequence. Then she got us to jump out and start down with the walk sequence and continuing with some quotes from the grip sequence. As far as the bar was concerned I think she wanted me to do it but today I had so many bruises on the hard surface of the bar, I was struggling to do many things. She also decided to do it with the both of us.

We did the duet but added another small extension to it but this time where I’m doing the main driver seat of the pillion driver duet. Basically mavin followed and we developed something that was added to the end. So the duet was the beginning-leading duet done twice followed by the Bharathanatyam duet. Then the pillion and the whole extension and finally ending with my pillion duet

We also tried my solo on chitra’s film the loops in the center. Basically worked most on the bar and the duet. of course the whole production team was there in full the second day and we were basically trying out projection stuff.

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16/10/02, 17/10/02

We made a lot of changes to all the sequences. As for each of the things

My solo.

My solo hasn’t changed much although she didn’t use what she was trying to develop on the last day of last week. So mine remained the same. She tried to make me do it as chitra was on in front of the screen but finally settled for me traveling across the space. In the days that followed she looked at it less but she wanted me to change the movement directions so it would travel more. She also wanted it to go fast and really go for it quite aggressively. The Greenwich space was huge. I also realized that I had settled too much into the movement and that was precisely what she didn’t want, that feeling of comfort. It’s quite ironic that the times I thought I was struggling a bit with it was the times she felt it looked the best. Maybe it’s that element of risk that she wanted. We decided on a particular clue that I would begin. She herself set certain pauses and asked me to make all the movements really big.

She toyed with the idea of using my skidding. She tried to get mavin to move on my back but abandoned it later. Finally we decided that that would be used to get into the loop. I realized I did that step well and she really wanted me to go for it.

We kept working on the bar. I had a lot of bruises, but we were pressed for time and I really enjoyed the bar work. I definitely didn’t want to be left out of it. With shows coming up, that’s the problem you can’t afford to fall sick or be bruised. She chose certain movements now from the loop to see how they would work on the bar. In fact she chose a lot of movements from walk, mavin’s solo. We did at as a sequence first. Then she asked us to do it really slowly and she felt that worked. She then retained certain movements that she thought would work. I guess she had to have mavin and I do it. I think she also wanted me to do it alone right at the beginning. But she shortened the whole sequence to 2/3 shapes that worked and finally wanted me to repeat it twice, each time walking out to do that bit of the extension walk sequence. Towards the end she asked me to even run up and join mavin on top before I come down to do my solo.

Mavin’s walk remained the same but she extended it a bit further where she used bits of the sequences from the walk. She was rephrasing things, and this is what I find most difficult because I have to be alert to the changes and yet get it to flow without making it look chunky.

She concentrated a lot on the duet. That was the one that changed the most. She kept removing certain things. She created a modified version that we could do on the balcony. Basically those parts of the duet, which looked best on top. So we did the beginning just till the b.n and then started again and I did my pillion then on the last day she added a small extension of me holding mavin with some quotes from my solo. Also she wanted us to do the b.n a bit up stage so people could see. She created an exit for us using the va va voom movements chosen to move out. The duet felt fantastic. It’s probably one of the reasons why I wanted to write all this down, because all it was when we began was just a leading exercise for warm up which has now become something else. As I saw her choreograph on mavin for his solo, which again looked great I could feel that she does get the best out of her dancers.

The thing that changed the most was loop. In the beginning she didn’t know how we would get to it. She tried getting us off the bar and start it. But that didn’t work finally she got me to skid and start from mavin’s lift. She added movements there to make it look better. Then we did it as it is. But added the beginning as fragments  here and there because she realised that we had missed out on certain movements and exited.

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18/10/02

To day we were back at islington arts factory. Today she decided to set the music cues and correct the quality of the movement. I noticed that shobana didn’t want us to be over familiar with music, to avoid movement getting slow or too lyrical. So it was really well into our rehearsal that we got to listen to it fully. We kept listening to the music and setting some cues.

We worked a lot on the loops correcting many points. When we had started out the loops material we were most comfortable in it and it was turning out to be the material with the most corrections. As far as my solo was concerned she was okay about it but again said the same thing about phrasing that she wanted me to go from one movt to the other fluidly. She also wanted me to get on to the clue bang on time and leave at a particular time when the singers pant.

We set the timing for me to begin the skid and get in to the loop. She wanted to give me as much time so I could do it best.

She changed the balcony duet and finally wanted us to do the whole duet till and inc b.n with the extension and keep repeating the whole chunk again.

We looked at the pace of the duet and we finally settled that my pillion and the b.n thing would be medium paced.


She showed me the video ..and we admitted that there needs to be much more energy as the one thing we hadn’t paid heed to is the fact that people will be looking down at it. The energy required would be much more than on a stage. I am just panicking as to how we can dance.

21/10/02

I attended class at the place. I felt good and warm. We came into the space but frankly didn’t do much. She was working mostly only on mavin’s solo. But I decided to keep working on the bar sequence when I come in and the walk after that. Before I knew it was lunchtime. After lunch they did everything section by section for lighting. The singers came, well basically they were the voice artists. They were fantastic but we realized that the music offered no help in terms of dance cues, especially because we were running from one place to another so we settled for a stopwatch. And then we had a run. The music was gorgeous. Energy wise i felt okay. I was quite tired and really felt for the first time that it was a difficult piece. More so, because we had to run to the balcony and then to the bar and then to the performance space. We also had to go a floor below to make these journeys because we can’t be seen by the audience.

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22/10/02

I decided not to go the place but instead do a class at Greenwich. Again we did a few things here and there. But today was the only day of rehearsal with chitra live. In fact we did a run twice. When you do full runs for a piece like [h]interland and get through it does give you a lot of confidence but our vulnerable point was still the loops. There were still points where we would stop and start. Shobana was very happy that chitra did the phrase as she had set it. Technologically they felt very happy, as there were few gaps.

23/10/02

Again class at Greenwich. We did a run once. Finally I was getting back my energy. She was overall not fully satisfied with loops. This time she felt that the 2nd one suffers. Also she felt I was slowing the va va voom bit esp. when we make our exit.

24/10/02

The first day of the performance. I was excited and nervous. Our call was at 2.30. But shobana was stuck in traffic. We looked at loops and some lighting cues and mavin’s ending. Mavin was worried that his end had not been choreographed fully. In a way I understand what he must be feeling. That feeling where nothing is settled. Shobana admits that she finds it hard to end her pieces (I found it interesting when she told us on the final day, that the reason she finds it hard to end them is because you’re so used to seeing a typical ending. it’s quite hard to come away from those lines). The singers were excited and were in a way just like us. Joanna and Caroline also were quite supportive. The first day went okay although I had butterflies in my stomach I totally relaxed by the time the duet came and felt I was on fire for my last dig at the balcony. Loops were a bit shaky. But overall it felt good. I knew however that I definitely wanted to get better and better. Shobana thought we were great. But the video wasn’t on time for many things. Met people who congratulated us but I got the feeling that were a few apprehensions and not the adoration which phantasmaton had. However considering the challenges that [h]interland faced I would say it was more satisfying in some ways. People thought that mavin and I made a good pair.

25/10/02

The second day of the performance. I lost a bit of the nervousness. I felt relaxed and was quite up to doing things. Our call was at 4.00. shobana looked at loops and gave us two points, which she thought was a breather. A gap before we do va va voom. Also she looked at mavin’s ending. Overall I felt okay. I think I had the right kind of energy..But firstly there was some problem and it took a bit of time to get the music started and secondly the stopwatch didn’t start (which was scary because we take all our cues from there) and of course thirdly I slipped on the chair slightly twisting my ankle. I realized then that it is a mental game. I was fine physically but I had to steady myself. But it lacked the energy of the first day. I was quite disappointed. Shobana was fine by it mainly because chitra came on time and the video worked.

26/10/02

The final day of the performance. I was quite determined to do well. I went in the afternoon at 4.00. Shobana didn’t really have anything to do. She kept asking us if there was anything. She gave me a small correction for my solo. She mentioned that people yesterday like it a lot. I told her I didn’t feel it was that good yesterday. But she complimented me on how well I performed and was I guess giving us a bit of confidence to go for it the last day.

Anyway I had a good warm up and made sure I had a strong coffee. I bandaged my foot. I felt that it was good this time. For the first time loops felt good. The beginning was good.

Shobana before the performance felt a bit nostalgic because she thought it was Chitra’s last performance before her baby. I can’t believe that chitra was 6 months pregnant then. Many people from production thought that my solo looked the best in all the time they had seen it.

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